YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out of the newspaper’s window on Main Street and — am I fooling myself about my own influence? Don’t answer that question.
Recently in this column I moaned that there was no longer a place in Nashville on weekends where you could go in and have a sit-down breakfast. Next thing you know, Lawrence McClane at Starz Family Restaurant starts serving breakfast. It’s only a partial victory for Mine Creek Revelations, however, because Starz is closed on Sundays. Still, we’ve got eggs over easy on Saturday. Thanks, Lawrence!
The ‘bump’ on Main Street. I whined tirelessly about the bump on Main Street under the stoplight at the Hempstead Street intersection. Next thing you know the Public Works Department and the mayor have cut it down and mashed it (sorta) in place. At least you’ve got to admit that it’s improved. My coffee no longer sloshes out on my bare legs when I speed through that red light.
I wrote a letter to the University of Arkansas Athletic Director begging him to fire Chad Morris. Ahem! You can thank me for Sam Pittman.
I wrote the chairman of the UofA Board of Trustees after reading that the university was considering removal of Sen. J.W. Fulbright’s statue from its place at Old Main, and also removing the senator’s name from the Fulbright College of Arts and Sciences. This was purely a politically-correct move, and nothing would take away the respect and fame the senator had brought to the state and the university. After receiving my letter the trustees declined to change the name of the college. I think they have moved the statue to another venue, probably George’s Majestic Lounge on Dickson Street where I spent lots of time. (Not every reader will appreciate the jocularity of this suggestion.)
But, I’m not sure. Some folks were upset about the senator’s vote on some civil rights issues. Isn’t ironic that he lost re-election because he was too liberal?
Last year I began whining because the NHS Mighty Scrapper Band no longer had twirling majorettes as it did in my day as the third best trombone player in the history of the band.
Lo and behold, a coed with twirling training stepped up; a member of the faculty volunteered to be a twirling coach; and we saw a twirler with the band at halftime for the first time in maybe 25 years. This year we have two more baton twirlers. The Scrapper Band may be unique in Arkansas because it (we) have twirlers. Lots of Scrapper Band Majorette Alumni have expressed happiness. None have sent monetary gratitude, however, and none have sent appreciation brownies.
Also, I have gotten a few veiled threats from the Flag Team Moms.
You would think that with all of this publicity and pressure from the media, and the outright existing municipal need, that we (our town) would finally get an Official Downtown J-Turn Enforcement Officer. Wouldn’t you?
But no. There’s not a peep from City Hall. Maybe they’re afraid of the Flag Team Moms.
And the State Police are still mumm about my application for a concealed automatic handgun permit for duty hours.
Also mumm is the Howard Memorial Hospital Board of Trustees on my frequently expressed community need for a Senior Citizens Nose and Ear Hair Clinic.
Well, I can do lots of things, but even I (he said with his usual extreme modesty) have my limits.
THINGS I LEARNED by opening email: The Guinness Book of Records holds the record for being the book most often stolen from public libraries.
#1 FAIR WEATHER Razorback Fan. Another football weekend, another dilemma. Alabama goes to Austin to play the Texas Longhorns in football, Saturday.
This is sorta like the well-known Michigan-Michigan State Dilemma.
And the Notre Dame-Anyone Dilemma.
Or the William and Mary Dilemma.
Which team do you hate the most? I tend to hope that both teams lose.
It will be very very extremely and hugely hard for me, but I may need to root for the Longhorns.
I am so proud of the Razorback football team for the win over Cincinncinnannanniti last week. The Hogs did it and I did not leave the room one single time. So much for that jinx.
The jinx may return this Saturday. I won’t take a chance. If the Gamecocks get close to scoring I’ll dash out to the patio and watch the bluejays until the Hogs have either (1) stopped the Gamecocks; or (2) our defensive backs have allowed another pass completion to an uncovered receiver in the end zone.
Wooo Pig Sooey! The Lucky Hog banner stays up for another week..
WORD GAMES. Here are two more short phrases that go together in some context: All Work and No Play. Together they make Jack a real dull boy.
HE SAID: “The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” Winston Churchill, statesman
SHE SAID: “The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity. The fears are paper tigers. You can do anything you decide to do. You can act to change and control your life; and the procedure, the process is its own reward.” Amelia Earhart, aviator
SWEET DREAMS, Baby