YES, I AM STILL HERE peeking out of the newspaper’s window on Main Street and I gotta tell ya that the #1 Fair Weather Razorback Football Fan is afraid to celebrate the combined wins over Texas and Texas A&M.
Surely you understand. I think I was born with a hatred of the Longhorns. Just like the rest of the Razorback Fair Weather Fans I have an inferiority complex about just about all things Texan.
Except for A&M. That’s different. At one time the Hogs handled the Aggies often. In fact, even though Texas A&M had a suffocating nine-year win streak over the Hogs, Arkansas held an edge in the overall series.
But thanks to the likes of John L. Smith and Bert Bulimia and Chad ‘Idiot’ Morris, the Aggies certainly closed the gap. After nine straight losses to the Aggies, the #1 Fair Weather Razorback Football Fan had become accustomed to hanging his head after trips to JerryWorld.
There was a time when I tried to play golf. I always hit what is called a ‘slice.’ Almost every time I hit the golf ball it veered to the right.
But I was too smart to change anything, so I kept watching my ball as it veered off to the right into the woods. Or the pond.
Finally I had enough. I wised up and gave the clubs away.
I haven’t yet given the Razorbacks away. I had not yet hit the bottom of the barrel. And so, I continued dreading getting my usual ‘slice’ against the University of Texas and Texas A&M University.
So, when ‘we’ beat both of those teams in 2021 I was leery of jinxing the team by celebrating too much (the #1 Fair Weather Razorback Football Fan’s alter ego is driving around with Hog stickers all over his buggy, and I wish he’d take them down because it will jinx us for sure).
I have no doubt that my anxiety level will quickly force me to seek the safety of my patio once we start against the doggone Georgia Bulldogs, Saturday. I think that if I go away from the tv screen the Hogs won’t be able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory (that’s a clever saying I just made up).
I know there are many Hog fans who will remain in the stands even when the team is behind by 30 points. They are the best of fans and I freely admit that I do not have their good character.
I will say this: In my mind I knew we’d lose to A&M again, but there were a memorable number of fans who told me that they KNEW deep inside that Arkansas would win. This was before the UA team bus even got neaar to Dallas.
But now it’s Georgia, Number 2 team in the nation on most polls, and Number 1 in some.
We don’t have much of a chance.
On the other hand I am just a little bit hopeful.
Wonder if I can get my golf clubs back.
=—-= — =
ANIMAL CRACKERS. My sister and brother-in-law report seeing a black fox on their acres north of Nashville. They’ve told the Game and Fish folks. I hope they get a pic of it on a game camera before some itchy-fingered armed person shoots it just because he/she can.
Technically, a black fox is called Silver Fox. Don’t ask me to explain. They’re a sign of good luck.
I almost hope that Bigfoot doesn’t exist.
Someone would feel compelled to shoot it.
=—-= — =
SLOW DOWN. The United States Postal Service is about deploy new ‘standards’ for first class mail and periodicals traveling distances. President Trump’s appointee as Postmaster General will slow down stuff that is going much distance, too.
You’ll recall my recent column about some friends in San Diego who received my Christmas card (in August) postmarked Nov. 11, 2016.
There are too many persons in the postal system who can’t be fired (like the Postmaster General).
Postal rates are going up soon. I hope I can remember to go by and buy a roll of ‘Forever’ stamps.
=—-= — =
PLEASE GET the Covid vaccine.
To the best of my knowledge there have been very few reports of anyone who died from vaccination side-effects but lots of stories of people who died and hadn’t been vaccinated at all. Vaccination deaths do happen but they are so rare you shouldn’t worry.
The majority of adult Americans have now been vaccinated. Almost ALL of the persons clogging Intensive Care Units in U.S. hospitals are unvaccinated.
=—-= — =
THINGS I LEARNED from opening an email. My doctor asked if anyone in my family suffered from mental illness. I said, “No, we all seem to enjoy it.”
=—-= — =
WORD GAMES. Siblings: Hellfire & Damnation. The preacher’s kids.
=—-= — =
HE SAID: “It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.” Lawrence Peter ‘Yogi’ Berra, Hall-of-Fame Yankees catcher
=—-= — =
SHE SAID: “You think you’re looking at things all the time, but you’re not looking at things, you’re looking at what your brain is interpreting through light and color. And who knows what everybody else sees?” Fiona Apple, singer/songwriter
=—-= — =
SWEET DREAMS, Baby
