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Mine Creek Revelations: Spider at my Feet

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YES, I AM STILL HERE looking out my window on Main Street, and I can’t stop thinking about an article in the recent informative e-mail from the Dollar Shave Club.

It asked a very important question: “What happens to spiders when you wash them down the shower drain?”

The answer just breaks my heart.

The spiders slowly drown in the sewer line.

Sob. It can take an hour or more for a spider to drown because its metabolism is so slow, the e-mail informs me.

Sob. Fake sympathy from the man who had a snake in the bedroom.

Did I tell you that I hate (and fear) spiders? And I love to hear of them suffering.

Well, I do. And I don’t care how much the little darlings suffer in the sewer line. It doesn’t happen often, but there have been times when a spider decided to share the shower with me.

I don’t care if they eat the eggs of tsetse flies, or mosquitos or water mocsicans or do many other useful things, I H-A-T-E spiders!

Sometimes I have nightmares of that James Bond movie where the villain put a four-pound poisonous tarantula the size of a dinner plate in Commander Bond’s shower.

A friend of mine once told she had stepped into her shower and discovered to her horror that she was sharing it with a scorpion.

I can’t imagine the hate and fear! My guess is that she said “EEEK!” and stepped out of the shower rather quickly.

I cannot even remember what she said she did to save herself from the scorpion.

Too bad there aren’t written instructions on how to save yourself from a spider or scorpion in the shower stall. I am worried now about how long a scorpion can live in a shower drain.

Maybe it’s not too late for me to organize the SCCS (Society for the Commission of Cruelty to Spiders). Automatic free membership to any armed J-Turn Enforcement Officer who applies.

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OUR LOSSES. Age and afflictions continue to take people I’ve known and admired from younger days.

Dierks has lost two great gents in the last few weeks — Stevie Lites and Dewitt Seale.

I knew them both, along with their wives, through an organization called ‘Jaycees’ which stood for Junior Chamber of Commerce. At one time, the women had their own organization — Jaycettes — but we were all later bended into one organization. There were Jaycee chapters in many area towns. I specifically remember making friends with members of chapters in Delight, De Queen, Texarkana, Murfreesboro, Dierks, Nashville, Tollette, Hope and Ashdown.

Jaycees believed in self-improvement and community service. In fact, the last line of the Jaycee Creed was “Service to humanity is the best work of life.”

Stevie and Dewitt, along with their wives, Patsy and Sharon, dearly loved Dierks and put lots of service to humanity in making Dierks a better place. Among their accomplishments was the renewal of the annual Pine Tree Festival, our county’s longest-running festival.

I believe that our communities still have a real need for organizations that help develop leaders for the next generation.

Peace to Stevie’s and Dewitt’s families, and thanks to the Almighty for putting such people among us.

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ANIMAL CRACKERS. A friend of mine in a nearby county shares a house with his wife and two cats. His and Hers cats, as a matter-of-fact. It WAS an idyllic life in the countryside.

The house also has one of them Roomba automatic vacuum cleaners.

Recently, one of the cats — no one will admit whether it was His cat or Hers cat — had a slight accident on the rug directly in the path of Roomba.

I hesitate to tell you what kind of accident this particular cat had, but let’s just say the cat’s nickname should be Hairball.

I am unable to actually determine whether it was His or Hers that contributed to the unimaginable resulting mess — the couple were both away at work when it occurred and, becausse it skillfully manuevers around obstacles, the Roomba scattered hairball all over the formerly-idyllic abode.

Hubby now says that BOTH cats are Hers.

Hers#1 and Hers#2.

She disputes this, and has offered to shoot one of the cats.  She gets to pick out the guilty cat. She believes it’s the one that now squalls and dashes to a closet as soon as Roomba comes on.

How long can a cat live in a shower drain?

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THINGS I LEARNED from opening an email: Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?

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WORD GAMES. The twins: Thanks and Praise. They’re sincere and very religious.

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HE SAID: “Mama was my greatest teacher, a teacher of compassion, love and fearlessness. If love is sweet as a flower, then my mother is that sweet flower of love.” Stevie Wonder, musician

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SHE SAID: “When my mother had to get dinner for 8 she’d just make enough for 16 and only serve half.” Gracie Allen, half of a famous comedy team

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SWEET DREAMS, Baby