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Mine Creek Revelations: Mealworm Nachos

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YES, I AM STILL HERE looking out my window on Main Street, and today I am sad that the Hogs lost to Baylor in the NCAA tournament. We had a great season and I sure do hope we keep our coach although it appears lots of richer schools are drooling over him.

Now I’m rooting for Gonzaga, although that is the kiss of death.

Michigan, the team I hate, will probably win it all.

Anyway: Wooooo Pig, Sooey!

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STYLISH. My congratulations to some of the black student -athletes participating in the NCAA basketball tournament. Some of the young men have displayed the most unusual hairstyles I’ve ever seen. Some styles are so complicated that the athlete’s play is surely affected by the weight and mass of the hairdo. Not to mention being a distraction in class.

And there was one white guy with a ‘Mr. T Mohawk.’ I pity the fool.

Just remember — they’re college kids.

In my last year at the UofA in Fayetteville, the male fashion craze was for bellbottom pants. I had just recently completed a hitch in the US Navy in which I ALWAYS wore bellbottoms, so I wasn’t swept up by the fashionable look.

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THE END IS IN SIGHT! At the end of this week is Easter Sunday and that means the end of Lent. A lot of you have been asking what I gave up for Lent, and I have been reluctant to brag about it but I feel I need to clear the air now that I’m almost at the finish line.

This year I gave up insects for food and between-meal snacks. It’s the easiest sacrifice I ever made!

I got interested in insects as a food source a couple of years ago when some Arab terrorist threatened to blow up the M&Ms Peanut factory. For at least 40 years in a row, I have politely declined to give up M&Ms Peanuts for Lent.

With Covid time on my hands I studied articles about how some ‘experts’ predict that soon we might have to feed the world’s population of 8 billion-plus by serving insects.

Some students at a university in Montreal, Canada, even won a cash prize for inventing a way to make nutritious flour from insects. And a UN agri committee is seriously looking into ways to get the world’s population to eat insects.

Well, for one thing, they say that caterpillars can be boiled in salty water like crawdads, then sun-dried. Mmmmm!

And, if our local exterminators will just leave us a few of them, termites can be steamed in banananananana leaves. And grubs — we’re not talking about my dirty clothes, we’re talking about that underground white thingy that is so delicious when crisped over glowing charcoal.

And grasshoppers — roasted with garlic and drizzled with tart juice from a lime. What could be finer?

And the African palm weevil is big enough to be panfried. Yummy! Pass the hushpuppies, please. Who said there was a food shortage in Africa?

And stinkbugs. You thought they had only one purpose? Wrong. You remove the head which is the source of the stink, then you can cook them or eat them raw, like oysters. Next thing you know there will be ‘stinkbug bars’ in New Orleans.

My new motto is “mealworms are hard to beat and good to eat.”

Yes, they certainly are.

I can see only one remaining question: Would a proper, cultured gentleman prefer red or white wine to go with his sun-dried mealworms?

The answer is: Mealworms are the new white meat, so a nice fruity white or blush zinfadel would be a good choice.

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THE GOOD EARTH.  The Deep Freeze may have killed ‘our’ peaches and azaleas and nandinas and other landscaping plants, but somethings are still alive and doing well. Especially the plants and trees that produce pollen. Looks like we’ve got a record crop according to my unofficial truck hood poll.

The dadgum Deep Freeze kilt just about everything in my yard except for poison ivy, sweetgum trees and those little thingys that have the stickers that must be painfully removed from your socks.

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THINGS I LEARNED from opening an email: If it was only to be a 3-hour cruise, why did Mrs. Thurston Howell take along so much clothing? 

Answer: Whatever she took was proved to be the correct choice because she was never underdressed at any social event aboard the motor yacht ’Minnow’ or in the special events venue on Gilligan’s Island.

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WORD GAMES. The triplets: Calm, Cool and Collected. Not surprised by much. And definitely not Razorback fans.

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HE SAID: “We think too small, like the frog at the bottom of the well. He thinks the sky is only as big as the top of the well. If he surfaced, he would have an entirely different view.” Chairman Mao Zedong, People’s Republic of China

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SHE SAID: “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it is a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” American newspaper columnist Erma Bombeck

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SWEET DREAMS, Baby

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