YES, I AM STILL HERE looking out my window on Main Street, and I am finally able to tell you about my unfortunate experience caused by our recent blizzard.
It’s taken awhile for me to talk about it because I am so embarrassed.
It was on Tuesday when a lot of the snow and ice was gone.
One of my important jobs on Tuesdays is to go pick up lunch for me and Sherm. The only parking spot I could find was on the side street at the corner of our block; it’s the north side of the former home of Tollett’s Gifts.
The parking spot was in the shade, and that is at the heart of my misfortune.
In my hands as I stepped out of my buggy were two sacks of Trish’s BBQ sandwiches and my car keys.
I stepped right on a slab of ice that had survived in the shade of the building.
Quicker that you can bat an eye, I found myself flat on my back. One of the sacks of food was thankfully a buffer between my elbow and the pavement. The other sack skittered under the truck parked next to mine.
I couldn’t get up because I kept slipping on the ice. I realized I wasn’t hurt, so I tried to hook my foot over the sack of food under the other truck, but all that did was to kick it further away.
That didn’t keep me from trying until the sack finally got kicked out of range of my foot.
I was still flat on my back when an attractive young woman walked past. She was out on the street at the tailgates of the buggies. She was concentrating on her steps and didn’t see me.
I stayed still and quiet.
At this point, I preferred NOT be seen by an attractive young woman (I’d guess she was in her early 50s) even more than get some help.
I thought about grabbing the truck door handle to pull myself up, but the stupid door kept opening.
At this point I also realized that my back side from shirt collar down to my socks was soaking wet. All of my thrashing around was melting the ice — but not enough for my shoes to gain traction. I still couldn’t even sit up.
I had a brainstorm. I would call the office, swear them to secrecy, and have one of them come throw me a rope and pull me to dry sidewalk.
The only problem with that was that I had left my phone in the office.
After awhile I had another brainstorm.
I used the car key remote fob to lock the truck doors. I started to pull myself up, but that young woman walked past again. I held my breath and froze so she wouldn’t see me.
Finally I was able to lock the truck’s rear doors, reach up and grab ahold of the doorhandle, and pull myself up. The parking lot was an incline, so I whether I wanted to or not I slid down to the street. That was okay, though, because that was where the second sack of food was.
The bag of chips in the sack was more-or-less crushed to crumbs, but the BBQ sandwich inside was still good, Sherm said later.
=—-= — =
ANIMAL CRACKERS. My fellow bluebird admirer, Gary Driver, says he watched a tv program that said the cold wave killed many bluebirds. So, Gary went out and checked his three bluebird boxes. Five adults dead in one box; two dead in another; no birds at all in the third.
I’m afraid to look inside my two houses.
=—-= — =
THINGS I LEARNED from opening an email: Why do eggs come in flimsy foam or paper cartons, and batteries come in packages only a chainsaw can open?
=—-= — =
WORD GAMES. No, Ifs, Ands or Buts. The quads don’t want to leave any doubt in your mind.
=—-= — =
FOR ‘OUR’ CANCER PATIENTS. We have moved into the ‘old’ Nashville News office on North Main, and we have taken our modest cancer project with us. For cancer patients who are traveling for doc appointments, lab work, chemo, x-ray, etc., we have vouchers for $25 worth of gasoline at Road Mart. All you have to do is ask and we’ll give you one.
Since we began the project in late 2007 we have provided almost $75,000 worth of gasoline vouchers.
And the palm tree, turtle, rabbit and dog have all been claimed.
=—-= — =
HE SAID: “Life’s tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late.” U.S. statesman and founding father Benjamin Franklin
MORE HE SAID: After meeting with Pope Francis, the Grand Ayatollah Ali Al-Sistani of Iraq issued a press release saying that spiritual leaders of the “great religions” should make an effort to curb the tragedies of oppression, persecution and violence. Christians in Iraq have been slaughtered and their churches destroyed by extreme Islamists. Maybe the Pope’s visit will help.
I’m glad he got out alive.
=—-= — =
SHE SAID: “All I ever wanted really, and continue to want out of life, is to give 100 percent to whatever I’m doing and to be committed to whatever I’m doing and then let the results speak for themselves. Also to never take myself or people for granted and always be thankful and grateful to the people who helped me.” U.S. track star Jackie Joyner-Kersee
=—-= — =
SWEET DREAMS, Baby
