YES, I AM STILL HERE looking out my window on Main Street, and I am thinking that the TCU Froggies are dadgum lucky they didn’t get tore up by the Hogs in the Texas Bowl which was cancelled by Covid-19.
Even the #1 Fair Weather Razorback Football Fan says so.
It is well known how much the #1 Fair Weather Razorback Football Fan despises the Texas Longhorns, but even #1 was stunned when UT fired their high-dollar fairly-successful coach and hired a Satan assistant. Just to get rid of the old regime will cost UT boosters $21 million, and that doesn’t include what they have to pay the new guy or the assistants he brings in. The tail is surely wagging the dog.
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ANIMAL CRACKERS. Neighbor David Rauls sent me email pictures taken on recent nights by his game camera.
Pictured were a beaver swimming in a creek and a fat raccoon wading around in the same waters. Not at the same time.
This was on Dodson Creek somewhere between the Primary School bridge and the baseball park bridge.
David says he set out his camera after noticing trees with bark chewed off. Knew it was a sign of the presence of a beaver.
I told this to a couple of outdoorsmen at the auto parts store, last week, and one predicted that it wouldn’t be long before there were alligators in those waters and the schoolkids had better look out.
As an unappreciative youth I used to wade that creek looking for crawdads and arrowheads. Found plenty.
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MORE ANIMAL CRACKERS. A unique idea has surfaced in Florida where pythons are ruining the Everglades because they eat everything and have no predators.
One lady python hunter has taken to eating the critters. In a ‘Live-Science’ article recently she said she had eaten about a dozen snakes in the past three years with no ill-effects.
“Wonderful tasting meat,” she was quoted.
The article did not include any python recipes, but it did warn that sometimes the snakes might have above-acceptable levels of mercury because they eat things from those waters that already have high mercury levels and the mercury just keeps getting passed from eatee to eater.
If you get some bad python it can have neurological consequences, the article sez. The lady hunter says there are test kits available so that in the comfort of your own home you can make sure the python meat is okay. I believe that someone who goes out and traps an 18-foot killer snake and eats it already has neurological problems.
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MORE MORE ANIMAL CRACKERS. On a neighborhood walk last week I saw literally a half-dozen bluebirds perched on an electric line. They were all facing west into the sun.
They were also all male. Our John Balch knows more about birds than that Audubon guy. John says that I was seeing ‘scouts,’ and it was time for me to clean out my old bluebird boxes if I hope to attract new families this spring.
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AND THE BEST LIE. The Burlington Liars Club has announced a winner in the contest for best lie of 2020 (the President was excluded from competition).
The winning lie was about the virus, no laughing matter, but the winner says humor will help us get through this.
The winner said he wanted to test himself for the virus. Knowing that the virus caused loss of taste and smell, he drank a shot of whiskey, and was pleased to note he could taste the stuff.
So, just be sure, he tested himself nine more times.
Next morning he had to test himself again because he had a headache which he knew is one of the symptoms of the virus.
One of my favorite winning lies of all time was from this guy who said he had a 2-year-old nephew who was such a good liar he could dirty his diaper and convince his mother that someone else did it.
Another favorite: A man said his friend was so smart he could work the crossword puzzle without reading the clues.
One of my goals in life is to win the Liars Club prize. No one from Arkansas has ever won.
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THINGS I LEARNED from opening an email: How is it that one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a charcoal cooker?
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WORD GAMES. The twins: Nook and Cranny. We’ve looked everywhere.
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HE SAID: “I have no way of knowing how people really feel, but the vast majority of those I meet couldn’t be nicer. Every once in a while someone barks at me. My New Year’s resolution is not to bark back.” conservative political tv commentator Tucker Carlson
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SHE SAID: “Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing. Believe in yourself. And believe that there is a loving Source – a Sower of Dreams – just waiting to be asked to help you make your dreams come true.” Sarah Ban Breathnach, author
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
