Home Opinion Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: KP For Army Team

Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: KP For Army Team

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WELL, I HAVE solved one scientific mystery that has baffled perfessers since 1985 when the ‘ozone hole’ over Antarctica was discovered.

The perfessers were worried about the hole because of something called UV Rays which I won’t bother explaining to you right now because I am so excited about my own scientific discovery.

It is related to that Ozone Hole, however.

The Ozone Hole is shrinking, say the perfessers and they don’t know why.

The Ozone Hole reduction began about two weeks ago, about the time I got my new CPAP machine device. My device uses ozone to sanitize all of the filthy, bacteria-ridden parts of the CPAP machine.

I honestly believe that this device could be sucking ozone from the Ozone Hole. No, don’t thank me now.

Here’s another gem from the world of science.

Some other perfessers now say that we all come from Africa. A place called Makgadikgadi paleowetland. About 200,000 years ago.

They say that climate change made the area get green and enabled the residents to make their walking ‘escape’ and spread humanity all over the globe.

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MY CONGRATULATIONS to Howard County and to the city of Nashville for making this foray to solar power. It won’t eliminate our need for electricity from the utility company, but at least it is a symbolic step away from coal-fired generation of electricity. I leap to the opportunity to praise SWEPCO and our rural electric cooperatives, and I will be upfront to remind you that I supported the coal-fired plant at McNab back when it was part of a public argument.

Electricity from the plant enables us to stay ahead of our appetite for electricity, and it is our desire for more and more electricity that had me worried. The industry is getting away from coal and looking more and more to solar and wind generation of electricity.

Sooner or later we’ll be driving electric cars, and taking full advantage of the sun to power households and industry (which reminds me to thank Husqvarna, again, for using solar power at their plant north of town).

But, back to Nashville’s use of solar power. The city’s annual bill for electricity is about $450,000, the mayor told the city council. Solar power could pay for about a fourth of that. Figure that over a period of 15-20 years and you can see why the city is interested.

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A FOOTBALL NOTE: The San Jose State Spartans (yes, the same team which actually had the nerve to defeat the Arkansas Razorbacks on the Hogs’ home field a couple of weeks ago) last week went to New York where they played the Cadets of the U.S. Military Academy.

The Spartans won.

Afterward, the Secretary of the Army declared that all of the Army players, managers, trainers, coaches and cheerleaders would have to do three weeks of KP duty.

No exceptions, he grumped. “Now I know how those Arkansas fans felt.”

Let that be a lesson, West Pointers. Stop scheduling cupcakes.

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THE INCREDIBLE and Mostly Unbelievable Adventures of my distant kin, Uncle Parry Normal: Uncle Parry says (I’m quoting him verbatim) that he’d be glad to join that bunch of fools who run through his neighborhood in the pre-dawn darkness every day, but he’s afraid of being bushwacked by a feral hog.

I’ll give him credit for coming up with an original excuse.

Me? I don’t join the runners because I am so lazy. At least I’m honest.

How does Uncle Parry keep feral hogs out of his mostly-untended yard?

”I put up some goalposts,” he answers. “Arkansas Hogs rarely get near goalposts.”

Uncle Parry is a lifelong Razorback fan. Not so much because they are the team from the flagship university of the state, but because of an unfortunate tattoo he got when he was 14 and ran away with the circus. The Fat Lady took offense and told the circus owner “Either HE leaves or I leave.” So Uncle Parry was homeless until he accepted lodging at the state prison.

Uncle Parry is not so much FOR the Hogs as he is AGAINST the opponent. This week, for instance, he doesn’t like the Missississississippi State University Bulldogs.

He wisecracks: “What is the difference between a Missississississippi State Bulldog and a carp? One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish.”

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HE SAID: “The only people for me are the mad ones: the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who … burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow Roman candles.” Jack Kerouac, American novelist

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 REMINDER. One of the events that makes our community great is the Red Beans and Rice Supper at Center Point, Saturday. It is put on by the Center Point Renewal Committee and the CP Volunteer Fire Department, and the meal is by donation. They start serving at 5:30 which gives me time to go, rest a bit, and go again.

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SHE SAID: “I am still looking for the modern equivalent of those Quakers who ran successful businesses, made money because they offered honest products and treated their people decently … This business creed, sadly, seems long forgotten.” Dame Anita Roddick, British businesswoman and environmental activist 

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SWEET DREAMS, Baby