Home Opinion Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: Licking Ice Cream

Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: Licking Ice Cream

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TO LITTLE ROCK ON INTERSTATE. Had to go Monday, and decided to see for myself how bad delays were along the 5+ miles of work on I-30 from near Haskell into Benton.

No delay whatsoever. There were some flashing and non-flashing signs and lots of orange barrels, and the outside lane was narrowed by concrete barriers in several places. Otherwise, no problemo.

Sorry if I worried you with my prediction of how bad things might get this summer. And it probably will get bad, later.

I am STILL glad that I followed a suggested alternative route a few weeks ago. It was a pleasant drive which took about 20 minutes longer and did not have large numbers of big trucks. I’ll do this again when things really do get bad out on I-30.

The alternate: Get off I-30 just past Malvern and go on US 270 to near Sheridan; take US 167 to where it merges with I-530 a few miles south of Little Rock.

Much of the alternative route is 4-lane, except for just outside of Malvern. That was there where I encountered my only problemo. A geezer driving a little old truck at 42 mph in a two-lane 55 mph zone. There was not safe place to pass for a long way.

Finally he got off the highway and I took a couple of potshots at him as I passed. I was gratified to see steam shooting out of the radiator of his buggy. Just joking. I didn’t even have my road rage pistol with me.

That won’t happen again.

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WHY DOES THIS make me so mad? Have you seen the video (on news programs and on social media) of the young woman licking a container of ice cream and putting it back into the grocery store freezer?

That is just pure meanness.  And now, more idiots are copycatting.

Its going to cause the ice cream industry to put their product into adult-proof containers and they will have to jack the price up appropriately.

There are many reasons our country needs real, swiftly-enforced capital punishment. Ice cream licking and identity theft are just two of those reasons.

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TOMORROW, TOMORROW, there’s always tomorrow.

I believe in coincidence, but I know a lot of people who don’t.

So, I call it irony that in Tuesday’s ‘Texarkana Gazette’ crossword puzzle an answer was ‘Annie,’ the Broadway musical about a little orphan girl. She sang a song, ‘Tomorrow” in hopes that her life would be happier, tomorrow. Annie was also in the daily newspaper comics.

IRONY: in Tuesday’s Gazette was the obituary for the man who wrote the lyrics for ‘Annie.’ TOMORROW. You’re only a day away.

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ANIMAL CRACKERS. Absolutely one of the wildest things I’ve ever witnessed in nature. On a Sunday afternoon countryside cruise with the Navigator, we had a close encounter with a huge hawk that had a small bird clinging to its back. Honest. The big bird flew out a copse of roadside trees and winged parallel to us at passenger side window height for maybe 100  yards.

The hawk appeared without success to try to shake the little black and white bird off its back by flying close to tree limbs. Moments later, another small bird joined to pester the hawk, and they all flew off out of sight. Never before had I seen one bird hitch a ride on another one. I always laughed off stories about hummingbirds riding on the backs of geese on their way south. Now, maybe?

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GONE. So sorry to see doors closed at Western Auto. Thanks to WA and to the Kreul family for community leadership for so many decades. You might not remember this, but Price Kreul began the chamber of commerce community coffee tradition during the FIRST of the two times he was chamber board president.

CHANGES? Seen advertised for sale elsewhere — our town’s KFC outlet.

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WHY MY LOWER LIP is pooched out. One of my few pleasures in life is trying to write a humorous column for this newspaper. The aim is to win recognition and an award in the annual Arkansas Press Association’s Better Newspaper Contest, humorous column, mid-size weeklies division.

The ‘News-Leader’ entered three of my 2018 columns in the contest. Awards were announced last week. Mine Creek Revelations didn’t even get an ‘honorable mention’ award. Nada. Nothing.

One column was about me wanting to transition into a Siberian Gray Wolf. One was about summer jobs before the advent of video games, and one was about alien peanut butter at the grocery store.

I don’t want to know what the winning column was about. Probably some stupid column about somebody’s pet or confusion on a recipe.

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WORD GAMES. Another set of twins: Tooth and Nail. Boy, did they ever put up a fight!

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HE SAID: “Every creature is better alive than dead, men and moose and pine trees, and he who understands it aright will rather preserve its life than destroy it.” Henry David Thoreau, philosopher and writer

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SHE SAID: “When all the world appears to be in a tumult, and nature itself is feeling the assault of climate change, the seasons retain their essential rhythm. Yes, fall gives us a premonition of winter, but then, winter, will be forced to relent, once again, to the new beginnings of soft greens, longer light, and the sweet air of spring.” Madeleine M. Kunin, governor and ambassador

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SWEET DREAMS, Baby