Home Opinion Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: Another LR Route

Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: Another LR Route

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HEARD FROM. A friend shares yet another way to get to Little Rock and avoid the coming construction nightmare delays on I-30 beginning this summer.

Friend sez to consider exiting I-30 north of Malvern. Take 270 E. to Sheridan, then turn north on US 167. From 167 you can merge with 530 north of Pine Bluff. He sez this route will take you past the old VA hospital and you can avoid the five-mile bottleneck from Haskell to Benton.

My informant says you will be on a two-lane highway from Malvern to Sheridan, but four lanes after that.

A variation is to turn off onto Hwy. 367 which also sneaks into Little Rock.

“Beats the hell out of traffic jams,” friend sez. As you know, I do not tolerate foul language, and I reluctantly reprint it here..

At any rate, now is a good time to decide how to avoid the delays on I-30. Or, maybe you enjoy sitting for 45 minutes between large trucks, dreaming of a bathroom and hoping to catch a breath of air without diesel fumes.

A related note: I’m gonna start one of those fancy newfangled GoFundMe accounts to pay for a large I-30 billboard begging big truck drivers NOT to try to pass a long line of other trucks while going up a hill.

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ANIMAL CRACKERS. I am holding my breath. Mom and Pop Bluebird have been inspecting the replacement bluebird house which I’ve recently re-mounted on the side of my house. This is an old bluebird house which had spent the winter in a storage room. It even had last year’s nest still inside. I had a newer, fancy bluebird house mounted at that spot but the birds wouldn’t have anything to do with it this spring.

Now, the ‘old’ bluebird house is back on the wall and it is getting some attention. So far, Mom and Pop just perch on it and glance inside. No effort yet to bring straw or to have a garage sale of old nesting material.

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MAN IN THE MOON. Can you see the Man in the Moon?

I see articles occasionally about the optical phenomenon. Apparently, some people can see ‘him,’ and some can’t.

Some perfessers say the image was formed by craters and flat spaces resulting by ancient bombardment of comets and meteorites and stuff. They have all kinds of mumbo-jumbo reasons why some people ‘see’ the Man, and some can’t. I think it is all just a plot to make the can’ts feel bad.

Some of the flat areas — called seas — form the eyes, nose and mouth of the Man.

As a younger man I could easily make out the image of the Man in the Moon. Now, not so easily.

It almost has to be a full moon in order for the figure to be visible to the ones who claim to see it..

Pretty soon, there will be a movement to recognize the figure as a woman. There will be some people who really can’t ‘see’ anything but claim to easily make out feminine features.

There will be the usual doubters. This new conflict will give us something else to fight about.

Next, there will be a fight over the name for him/her. Should it be Chinese, African or Scandinavianianianian? Well, we fight over names of hurricanes, don’t we? And didn’t  hurricanes ALWAYS have feminine names once upon a time?

Why should things be different for the Figure in the Moon?

Maybe the next astronauts who land on the Moon will look for traces of lipstick around the crater rims.

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I CAN’T GET recognition as our town’s Duly Deputized Downtown J-Turn Enforcement Officer, but I CAN be recognized as the #1 Fair Weather Fan of the Arkansas Razorbacks.

And it is in that capacity that I point out the strange absence of Razorback baseball players on the First Team All-SEC baseball team. Vanderbilt and Mississippi State each had four. Just thought I’d point that out. Arkansas was co-champ of the SEC West and swept all games with Mississississippppi State.

Further, one of the Arkansas fan pages has already sent me a request to avoid looking at, listening to or in any way keeping up with the Hogs in the SEC and NCAA tournaments, owing to my well known jinx.

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WORD GAMES. The twins: Singing and Dancing. There are also twins on the ‘other’ side of the family — Saingin’ and Daincin.’ It’s mostly a difference in pronounciation. One branch of the family is cultured, the other is cornpone. One is ballet, one is boot-scootin.’  One is Beethoven, one is Bubba. Both sides of the family are pretty lively.

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THINGS I LEARNED from opening (and believing) email: “Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.“

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HE SAID: “I figure you’re only here for a matter of moments. Ever since I was a kid watching movies I’ve always wanted to make people laugh or have some sort of emotional reaction.” Tim Conway, entertainer

Thank you, Tim.

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SHE SAID: “I like joy; I want to be joyous; I want to have fun on the set; I want to wear beautiful clothes and look pretty. I want to smile, and I want to make people laugh. And that’s all I want. I like it. I like being happy. I want to make others happy.” Doris Day, entertainer

Thank you, Doris.

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SWEET DREAMS, Baby