HIGH FASHION IN OUTER SPACE. You’ve probably seen the news articles about how close we came to a historic event, last week.
I am not kidding about historic. Major historic. It looked, for awhile, that our country’s space program was going to be blessed with two female astronaut space-walkers dangling outside of the space station at the same time.
Says so, at one of my favorite internet spots — space.com.
I didn’t realize it was such a big deal. There have been female astronaut space-walkers before, but never two at the same time, news articles say.
Historic. Not so fast.
Then, NASA announced that it wouldn’t happen. Not because the ladies weren’t adequately trained and skilled, but because we didn’t have two female-sized space suits.
That is NASA’s story and they are sticking with it.
But I suspect it was a matter of fashion (and, ladies, I don’t want you to think I am stereotyping females). But it is entirely possible we didn’t have the double spacewalk because they didn’t want to be seen at a public event wearing identical outfits.
Next thing you know, the NASA spacesuit fashionistas will have to design spacewalk outfits that are more revealing. Sexier spacesuits — I can see the headlines now! Airtight leggings. Orbiting necklines. Kardashians in space. Astronauts on the Red Carpet for a photo op.
Will there be a fashion show at Cape Canaveral for to show off the latest stunning stellar attire?
One thing that occurs to me is that this shortage could prove to be perilous for the slower of the two female astronauts. What if there was some kind of space disaster, and the crew had to abandon the spaceship and get into a rescue capsule in a real hurry? It happens in the movies all the time. Wouldn’t they ALL need to quickly put on spacesuits to get from one craft to the other?
One lady astronaut would get there on time, but if the other had stopped to check her makeup …. well, tough luck, sister, you’re either going to remain here or you’re going to have to get into one of those ugly men-size suits.
On the other hand, this happened just a few hours before APRIL FOOL’S DAY.
Since the earth turns toward the International Dateline and since we are also in Daylight Saving Time, it means this whole episode actually happened a day later.
NASA may have played an April Fool’s Joke on us. Ha ha.
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ANIMAL CRACKERS. Sitting out on a deck north of Nashville, last Wednesday evening, our small gathering watched in awe as thousands of big black crows flew south in a loose formation. These birds were not to be confused with the mind-boggling erratic swarms of smaller blackbirds which swirl through the air this time of year.
And ‘formation’ isn’t an adequate description because the birds were merely scattered loosely in a very long narrow stream. There was just no end to the flight. It went from the north as far as the eye could see all the way to the south, again as far as the eye could see. Maybe they stopped sometime after dark. We wouldn’t know because it got dark.
The owner of the deck said that very same flight goes north in the same fashion every morning.
Are they like the cattle egrets? Are the crows merely going north to check out progress on the new Pilgrim’s mill complex?
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THE GOOD EARTH. You waited too late to go see my Japanese Cherry Blossom tree. The wonderful faint pink petals are all gone.
And I am fearful of the effects of this week’s low temperatures. It got down to freezing Monday night. I had been so busy during the day that I forgot to go out and cover my dandilions.
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SOMEONE IS LISTENING. On Friday I searched the web for info on Chief Sitting Bull — see his quote near the end of this column. On Sunday I was getting email ads for Sitting Bull t-shirts.
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GO GET ‘EM. In a news release earlier, our Arkansas Attorney General said she was going after telemarketers and ‘robo-callers.’
I wish she’d quit lollygagging around and get after them. Seriously, stop talking about doing something. DO something!
Recently, I saw a news article that said more than one half of the calls we get are unwanted solicitations from marketers.
I hate it that the phone shows me a number indicating it is a local call. Then, when you answer you get a chirpy, cheerful recording that starts like this: “Hi, good morning, how are you? My name is …..”
That’s the way they all start. They want to sell something but I don’t ever hang around long enough to find out. I am not sophisticated enough to recognize the real from the bogus calls.
This is the number one complaint I hear from people.
The other complaint is none of us have ‘receivers’ any more, and we can’t angrily slam ‘em down.
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WORD GAMES. Another set of twins: Tired and Cranky.
They are present equally in babies and in oldsters.
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HE SAID: “Behold, my friends, the spring is come; the earth has gladly received the embraces of the sun, and we shall soon see the results of their love!” Sitting Bull, chief of the Hunkpapa Lakota Sioux
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SHE SAID: “Don’t forget that compared to a grownup person every baby is a genius. Think of the capacity to learn! The freshness, the temperament, the will of a baby a few months old!” Mary Sarton, poet and novelist
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
