ANIMAL CRACKERS. Guess who’s coming to dinner.
Is it just my imagination, or have there been a lot of news stories lately about animals eating humans?
Maybe you’ll remember that mountain lion out west. It killed, then ate, some honor student from some college. Or, was it a remedial student?
Then a gator pulled a kid into the pond at Disney World and promptly took him to dinner. Soon after that I saw a news story where a croc somewhere got ahold of a woman with similar results.
The latest story was out of Indonesia where a 23-foot boa constrictor ate a woman. Whole. Slurp. Wait a minute. That wasn’t even the newest story. The newest story is that some guy caught an alligator snapping turtle and found a whole human finger in its tummy. Don’t ask me why he was looking into the beast’s tummy. I said don’t ask. Maybe he was gutting the animal in preparation of making turtle soup.
I have one question about all of these deaths: What was the intelligence level of the person who got within grabbing distance of the dangerous animal?
The same for those guys that handle poisonous snakes.
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AN ANNIVERSARY of sorts. Yesterday, June 19, was not only the customarily-observed ‘June Teenth’ remembrance of President Lincoln signing the historic Emancipation Proclamation, it was also the anniversary of the date I was sworn in by the U.S. Navy.
In my ill-fated 1961-62 enrollment at Texarkana Junior College, I made an F in chemistry. That’s bad, but there are many worse things that could happen. One of the worse things would be that the teacher was a childhood friend of my father, and I was afraid that my teacher’s childhood friend would kill his son for staining the family name.
So, I joined the navy and shipped out to boot camp before college grades could arrive.
My father did insist that I wear my only suit to the navy physical exam and oath ceremony in Little Rock. The other inductees were dressed sensibly and they looked at me like I was crazy. But the recruiter put me in charge of the group headed for boot camp at Great Lakes, Ill., which is about midway between Chicago and Milwaukee. The trip was overnight in a train. Because I was ‘in charge’ I got a sleeper compartment by myself. There were no other benefits for having been overdressed.
When we arrived at the Naval Recruit Training Center, I was put in charge of our whole ragtag company because I was wearing a suit. Next day as we lined up in ranks to march to get our uniforms, we met our company commander. I’ve written about him previously. Scary, scary dude. Because I was wearing a suit he put me in charge of the recruit company until he could find out who the REAL leaders were.
That’s where the suit advantage ended, and that also tells you why the military makes everyone wear uniforms. It takes more than a wellworn tweed suit to be put in charge.
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I TAKE FULL CREDIT for the Arkansas Razorback baseball team winning the Super Regional NCAA bracket. The team managed to defeat the South Carolina Gamecocks BECAUSE I did not listen to, nor did I watch, a single play.
I frequently checked the SEC site on the Internet to get live updates on the score. Thus I avoided jinxing the team.
And, “You’re welcome” to all grateful Hog fans for my invaluable assistance in whupping the tar outa the danged Texas Longhorns.
Doing my part for victory, I did not listen to a single play-by-play call, nor did I watch any of the game (was it even televised?).
I am the most devoted, reliable Hog fan you will ever know. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice.
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HEARD FROM. Jerry Couch,the squire of Nathan, needs our help. Back when he and Arkla Gas were active with the chamber of commerce, the chamber had copies made of an old black-and-white 1950s film, “My Hometown.” At least I think that was the film’s name. It was some great movie scenes of Nashville of that day and there was some cheesey music in the background. Jerry recalls that the chamber had the film converted to DVD and sold copies. Jerry remembers getting a couple of copies. Maybe it was VCR tapes.
But now he can’t find any of those copies. So, if you have that video he’d like to borrow if for just a short time so that he can have another copy made. Let me know and I’ll forward the info to Jerry.
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THINGS I LEARNED from opening email: When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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WORD GAMES. The twins: Slim and None. Their chances are not all that good.
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HE SAID: “What is objectionable, what is dangerous about extremists, is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.” Robert Kennedy, U.S. Attorney General
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SHE SAID: “Love is friendship that has caught fire. It is quiet understanding, mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving. It is loyalty through good and bad times. It settles for less than perfection and makes allowances for human weaknesses.” Ann Landers, newspaper advice columnist
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SWEET DREAMS, Baby
