Home Opinion Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: Fragrant hands

Mine Creek Revelations by Louie Graves: Fragrant hands

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I PUT THE BLAME mainly on my swell new 5-quart slow cooker.

It was calling me to fix a favorite cold weather dish. Well, lately it’s been November-ish in the morning but downright August-ish by afternoon.

However, who am I to argue with a slow cooker or morning temps?

I soaked a bag of black beans overnight and I got up early so I could get them started in the cooker by the time I left for work.

In fact, I had enough time to prepare the ingredients which were to be added later. Added ingredients were yellow onion, bell pepper and garlic.

I chopped the items. Whew, my hands smelled!

Washed my hands, and sniffed them.

Whew! Garlic, onion, pepper reeked.

Washed hands again. Still smelled.

I resigned myself to having smelly hands, and went to work anyway.

I mentioned this to one of my office associates who had been sniffing the air with a pained expression on his/her face (I am trying to disguise the identity of my associate).

Is there anything I can do to take away the smell, I asked. “Wash your hands with toothpaste.”

Really? “That’s what I’ve heard,” he/said answered.

I went home and rummaged through the bathroom drawer to see if there was a tube of toothpaste with just a little bit left because I’m a miser and can’t stand to waste stuff. The only toothpaste I could find was All New Really Really Extra Strength Sensodyne, the toothpaste for terribly sensitive teeth. It had been hiding in the drawer for a long time apparently.

This stuff not only whitens your teeth, it numbs their sensitivity to hot and cold and pain and stuff like that.

I squeezed out the last of the tube on my hands and sqwushed it around real good.

I tried to wash it off with soapy warm water. It might’ve washed off some, but I couldn’t tell because All New Really Really Extra Strength Sensodyne protects against warm sensitivity.

So I switched the faucet to cold water. Again, I couldn’t tell if my hands were clean or not. Because, well, you know…..

I tried something else from the back of the drawer. It was in a yellow tube. Something called Preparation (I couldn’t read the last part of the tube).

It just made my hands number.

I decided to try pouring vinegar over my hands. Maybe that would take the smell off and restore feeling, too.

But when I tried to pour from the 1-gal. bottle of vinegar I fumbled it because my hands were numb. I thoroughly doused the bathroom floor — and my clothes — in fragrant vinegar.

Went back to work. This time, EVERY associate wrinkled up his/her face and said “Whew, you reek.”

I went to the hospital emergency room to seek help (if THIS isn’t an emergency I don’t know what is!).

“It smells like pickled garlic in here,” the ER nurse snarled, looking squarely at me.

But she added, “Wow, your hands sure look white!

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HOPEFUL. Hope doesn’t count if you’re talking about the Razorbacks or about seeing the Orionid Meteor Shower or the Planet Uranus.

The Hogs, of course, were woeful Saturday against another SEC team. What’s new?

More important, however, was that overcast conditions kept us from seeing any of the Orionid Meteor Shower which was supposed to peak Saturday night. The meteors will be around for a few more nights, but so will the clouds.

The clouds also interfered with one of our rare opportunities to see the Planet Uranus without benefit of telescope. For a couple of nights, when the moon was non-existent, the planet was supposed to be visible to the naked eye. A tiny pale blue jewel hung in the eastern sky after dark, is the way it was described. Be careful how you pronounce the planet’s name.

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AREN’T YOU GLAD we’ve got Howard Memorial Hospital? In 2016, a total of 2,109 persons visited the emergency room for treatment. Many lives affected.

Tell your congressman and senators that you want them to protect Arkansas’s rural hospitals.

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THINGS I LEARNED from opening email:  The phrase “rule of thumb” is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn’t beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb.

Can wives hit back with anything, no matter the width?

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WORD GAMES. The Twins: Rules and Regulations.

Sometimes known as the ‘do right twins.’

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HE SAID: “Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.“ Warren Buffett, American business magnate

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SHE SAID: “My heart is singing for joy this morning! A miracle has happened! The light of understanding has shone upon my little pupil’s mind, and behold, all things are changed!” Anne Sullivan, blind teacher and companion of Helen Keller.

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SWEET DREAMS, Baby