ONE THING I DON’T have to worry about is missing sleep because I stay up past my bedtime to watch reruns of the Texas Aggie-Arkansas Razorback football game.
It was bad enough to lose. It was worse to lose to T-A&M for the fifth consecutive time. It will be worse because the SEC network will replay the game in its entirety two times — once for those delirious Aggie fans and once for the (approximately) two Razorback fans who can stand to sit through it again.
Then, during the coming week, the network will also have a one hour show for each school, recapping the game. And since the game was on ESPN they will replay it in its entirety at least once sometime in this week.
Then the expert broadcasters will all have to talk about the game and how the Aggies are so great and the Razorbacks aren’t worth beans, and when they make their predictions for the coming weekend they’ll remind us that the Razorbacks lost last week.
There will be 30 callers to the Paul Finebaum Show crowing about the way the Aggies whupped the tar outa them Hogs. And they will be right. The Hogs don’t rate a second thought in the SEC West.
I’ve had it. I’m the poster child for Fair Weather Fans and I spent much of the game sitting out on my patio listening to the crickets because I was too nervous to watch the actual game. I wore my lucky hat and lucky T-shirt. Lot of good it did us.
So, I’ve burned my lucky shirt and lucky cap because they let us down.
And now I’m going to go get a tattoo that says: “Arkansas is the Vanderbilt of the SEC West.”
That’ll show me!
I won’t feel one bit better this Saturday when the Hogs dispose of a cupcake foe.
The only thing that will make me feel better is snapping our ‘other’ losing streak to Satan and the Tide the following week.
And that, my friends, ain’t gonna happen. Don’t care how many lucky shirts and caps I have to burn.
ANOTHER ENDANGERED SPECIES. When was the last time you saw a saucy majorette marching along in front of the high school band?
I just realized that I cannot remember the last time I saw a majorette showing off her twirling skills.
I can still name the majorettes, left to right, from ‘my’ Marching Scrapper Band of more than 50 years ago (and let me tell you, the entire trombone section thought those girls were mighty fine then, and we still do to this very day).
I do not have anything against the cute girls in evening dresses who toss flags around during the halftime show, but REALLY, you cannot compare the milktoast danger level of today’s flag routines to the danger level of yesteryear’s batons twirling at the speed of light.
Plus (and this is really important), when those majorettes learned to twirl and march at the same time, they were gaining skills for a lifetime. Just answer me one question: Do you think that learning to flip a flag will help one of today’s musical coeds get into medical school? Be honest.
And what about the white boot industry? Think of the number of persons who are now out of jobs because go-go dancers have gone out of style and high school majorettes have disappeared.
Somewhere there is a warehouse full of those little white rubber tips that covered the ends of majorettes’ batons. If I could just come up with an idea for a new use I’d make a fortune.
A VISIT. Just had a cup of coffee visit with my favorite early morning twins — Eggs and Bacon.
I KNOW I mentioned this before, but out of 113 million-plus Americans, are Hillary and Donald the best candidates the political parties can come up with?
FOR THE UMPTEENTH YEAR in a row, members of the Mine Creek-Paraclifta Chapter of Daughters of the American Revolution met at the big bell in front of First Baptist Church to ‘ring in’ Constitution Week.
I wasn’t present because I let the date slip by me, but I’m glad the DAR ladies remembered our nation with this fine tradition. I WAS there the first time they rang the bell for Constitution Week. And, as far as I know, that bell is only rung once each year.
DAR members who were present for the ringing this year were Charlotte Gibson, Marilyn Bradley, Ann Parker, Leila Parker and Velma Owens.
WISDOM I WAS EXPOSED TO by opening email: It is hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere in the first place.
HE SAID: “Great things are done by a series of small things brought together.” Vincent Van Gogh, artist
SHE SAID: “People are starting to wake up to the fact that a media/political party-complex basically decide our candidate, then create the illusion for the rest of us that in fact we’re the ones who did the deciding.” Marianne Williamson, author and lecturer
SWEET DREAMS, Baby