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Famous Last Words

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Pokin’ Fun | Doc Blakely

If you want to go out of this life and leave a memorable impression it would be a good idea to think of something real clever to say with your last breath. For instance there was an old man about to cross over the river Jordan. His 7 sons were gathered at his side. They were in order of the oldest to the youngest, which also coincided with dumb to dumber. They thought Euthanasia had something to do with Chinese teenagers, that a Brazilian was how many people lived in India, and one of them got fired from quality control at the M&M plant for throwing away all the W’s. You get the picture?
Well, the oldest son asked Pop if he had any last words of wisdom. Pop was gasping for breath because he was on his way out, and 7 sons standing on his Oxygen tube wasn’t helping. He managed to say, “Life is like a moonbeam.” The youngest son couldn’t hear so he asked, “What did he say?” They passed it on up the line. The oldest son passed the remark back down. The youngest wrinkled his brow and asked, “What does that mean?” By the time it reached the old man again, he was fading fast so he gasped, “So, life is not like a moonbeam.” Then he died. It was good to go out leaving no questions unanswered.
The writer Oscar Wilde was said to have uttered these words as his last, “Women! What do they want? My Lord, what do they want?” As far as I know the answer still remains a mystery.
Drummer Buddy Rich died after surgery in 1987. As he was being prepped for surgery, a nurse asked, “Is there anything you can’t take?” His last words were, “Yeah, country music.” As sort of a rebuttal country musicians have for years told the story of a wreck on the highway that rolled the bus over several times. They like to say, “It was bad. Seven musicians, the driver and a drummer were injured.” Even Confucius is reported to have said, “If thine enemy wrongs thee, buy each of his children a drum.”
Convicted murderer Thomas J. Grasso’s last words were used to complain about his last meal. He said, “I did not get my Spaghetti-O’s, I got spaghetti. I want the press to know about this.”
Murderer James W. Rodgers, in front of a firing squad in Utah was asked if he had a last request. He replied, “Bring me a bullet proof vest.”
Charles Gussman, a writer for Days of Our Lives, planned to say something special when his time came and was prepared for it. When reminded of the vow he removed his oxygen mask, remarked “And now for a word from our sponsor…” and drifted off with a smile.
I’ve thought about this and I plan to say, “I knew if I lived long enough something like this would happen.” www.docblakely.com